Been thinking a lot of late about how I came to be so beyond rolly polly & unfit. It seems to me that we are all called, by our very creation, to be the best level of fitness possible, regardless of our overall health.
Mom epitomized that, but I was loathe to learn her lesson. Two things she did FOR HERSELF every day - took a nap & exercised.
Every day.
In addition to waist twists and arm up & overs and toe touching, she walked.
Boy, did she walk. In her 70s, the woman walked from our house on Woodland Road up to Benita Acton Odhner's on Alnwick - even in bad weather. Nap - exercise - walk.
So, why didn't I process my experience of her into an active role model? 'Cause you'd be hard pressed to find a more sedentary soul than yours truly. And it shows, in my weight & in my flabby condition.
What whatevers over-rode the "fitness is natural" message Mom clearly sent throughout her life? Let's see: delusion ~ negative messaging (you look just like your sister, Lockharts are lesser, you aren't intellectually curious, you're hopelessly out of shape, you're just big boned - gosh, there are too many to list) ~ distress ~ feeling tired ~ stuff down feelings ~ food = connection ~ socializing = food ~ okay to eat if others allow ~ "wedding 25" (became 22nd anniversary 50+) ~ just a little ~ too busy to cook wisely ~ love fat ~ reward = food ~ family = food ~ what set me apart was baking prowess ~ numb numb numb.
Each of those - and many more - have a stockpile of supporting stories backing them up, making eating unhealthy things or too much of healthy ones okay. Making exercise something chronically outside my reach. Stories that turned toxic & created toxins within my body. Stories that overrode the shining of low tech exercising Mom, of my own sense that healthier cooking just might be more interesting. Stories that shrouded with thick layers of fat the deepest belief I have about my sense of physical fitness - that we are given life to live in a manner that calls out our best, not our most mediocre.
Time to turn those stories away from toxic to terrific!
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