Can recall that I started sending each of them a copy of the same book - and kept a copy for myself - after being inspired by Philadephia's One Book, One City program. It seemed one way to be in contact with my USA-based sibs without stirring the aggravation & angst that touches so many of our encounters.
As the months went by, friends thought I was nuts.
"Why, with your finances so low do you continue to spend money on books and postage when neither of them have given you the faintest inkling that they've received, let alone like what you send?"
And I would explain how - to me - it was one of the most important investments I could make.
Did I get discouraged over not hearing a peep from either Peter or Mim? I'm not sure how I felt, or maybe I know but can't figure out how express it. It was certainly tough to depend on a confirmed receipt notice to know books arrived at the correct addresses.
It was when I sent a package via confirmed receipt ~ near the end of my initiative ~ that I got a nice thank you from Mim for the book, Playing Their Hearts Out, about how inner city athletes often fall prey to unscrupulous coaches.
While One Book, One Family is shelved (for now), about six weeks ago I sent Mim a small book of inspirational passages that she gave Mom many many years ago, a treasure Mom always kept on her bedside, atop her Bible. In the note accompanying it, I took the opportunity to ask if Mim had received - back in the early fall - the dvd starring Claire Danes as Temple Grandin, a high-functioning, remarkably accomplished autistic whose life illustrates that there are things people with autism can do that people with standard senses cannot. (Seemed a good pick for Mim, who works with autistic children; ordered it pre-release, so she'd get it the moment it came out.)
Received a note today ~ along with confirming receipt of the dvd, Mim included some personal information about the surging summer crowds in the shoreside town where she lives. She apologized, explaining she thought she'd long ago confirmed & thanked. It was a cozy little note, written on lined paper torn out of a spiral-bound book ~ homey, not homely!! And it closed, "You are loved in Toms River."
"You are loved in Toms River." That's why I sent books et al for just over or just under a year. A connection. Not the outsized sort my basic Tiggerish nature hankers after; rather somewhat distant & a trifle oblique - the sort PRL & JKL seem more comfortable receiving.
Perhaps I'm getting better at empathy. It's way more important to express love in ways my sibs can connect with than ones most natural to me. That's always been a major challenge, even a daunting barrier with my own family. How to connect without being too personal, too present.
Maybe One Book, One Family was a successful first step toward striking that balance. Or maybe it was just a step.
Whichever it is, sure feels good to have taken it, to know that I am "loved in Toms River."
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